Destiny

Sow a thought, reap a behavior

Sow a behavior, reap a habit

Sow a habit, reap your character

Sow your character, reap your destiny

Tribute to my late sister, Maganolia S. Tolbert (affectionately known as Nan)

My late sister sent me this short yet powerful statement you read above over 27 years ago. At that point, the Lord had me to reflect over my life at every pivotal, life changing season where He brought about lasting change. For many of us life comes down to the fact that our destiny starts in thought, followed by deed. (Depending, this may or may not refer to those who are born in situations or geographical locations that may breed oppression and powerlessness that is out of their control. The “destiny” statement above refers to those who have been granted power, and freedom to choose and change the direction of their life if they decide to do so). Decisions throughout the day are always leading us on a path. In so doing, we can pick life or death, so to speak; freedom or bondage; peace or confusion, contentment or anguish, the list goes on. The course of our day is predicated on single decisions made for the moment. In turn, our momentary choice can extend from a day, to weeks, to months and sometime years.

Is the outcome the end we want? Will our today shape our tomorrow the way we envision our best life to be, or no? These are questions to ask ourselves when presented with an option based on a moment in time; which in some cases influence the rest of our life. You see, while moments are (my-nute) minute, they expand beyond what we see or experience in the present.

That said, let’s reel this in backward beginning with destiny. How do you see yourself in the future? What does your day hold; what are you doing, are you working, going to school; how do you dress; are you walking, driving, cycling; do you own a home, rent; what does your life look like; how do you envision your life to be? What option can you pick in the present to develop the character you see in the future? Will an adjustment in any of the above cultivate the character you visualize yourself to be? Truth be told, most people must act upon something in their life to get what they picture to materialize.

Habits make it happen

Next, our habits. When it comes to habits, an exchange must take place. What behavior(s) do we repeat that have formed a habit that either help or hinder us? Think about it. Behavior(s) we need to change in order to reach our destiny are as basic as stopping an action and starting another. Developing a habit can be as simple as changing the places we go, alter activities we do, or change our circle of people; begin to socialize with those that affirm our identity vs detract from it, and the list goes on. It’s as straightforward as stop procrastinating and start doing what has been put off. Whichever the choice consistency is the key; small movements can make a big difference; one action at a time, one day at a time.

Just do it

Know this, sometime we need to practice a behavior for the mindset to catch up. At times this can feel uncomfortable, like a piece of clothing that does not quite fit yet, until one grows into it. The key word is “practice” the formation of a habit until the mind hooks up with it. Allow me to share a snippet from a Psychology paper I wrote titled “Attitudes and Behavior:”

“Behavior can also influence an individual’s viewpoint rather than one’s stance dictating performance. An example of how “acting” impacts an individual’s nature is Meta House Residential Treatment for Women; an inpatient facility which house recovering addicts, alcohol, bulimic, anorexic clients. These are clients’ who are accustomed to every waking moment being focused on how to obtain drugs/alcohol; binging and purging as they obsess on their next opportunity, and how to carry it out discreetly. In addition, most of these residents are apathetic with the exception of energy spent to reach their goal; which is to use drugs, alcohol, binge and purge. During their stay, women of all ethnic groups, ages and backgrounds engage in a plan tailored to specific issues along with guidelines everyone must follow. With the implementation of daily living skills; chores such as cleaning, cooking, meal planning and no television before 6pm; a strict meeting regimen (attending at least three AA, CA, NA or OA meetings a week) along with in-house groups; and job search or the pursuit of education. These are normal day to day activities that the majority of responsible adults engage in; but with addiction or whatever disease plagues them, they either got lost along the way or have never been exposed to a healthy lifestyle to begin with. The biggest challenge is their head is not yet involved in the process; clients enter treatment in denial, angry, fearful and unaware of where to begin to promote change. The program is designed to challenge self-defeating behaviors which in turn lead to a conversion in rationale. The women of Meta House experience a change in disposition through behavior modification; compliance first, then over time a conversion in the psyche takes place.”

I confirm the power of behavior influencing thinking, because I was one of those women. It’s been over 33 years I am yet clean, sober, delivered from drugs and alcohol; and a few years later accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I’m a living testimony.

So what’s on your mind?

Foremost, there is our thinking. What are we thinking? Ever REALLY pay attention to your thoughts? Or have our thoughts become mechanical, mindless or without scrutiny? When we make choices, are we cognizant of the effect, assess the outcome, or do we just DO? Ponder that. Direction Help Guidance Adjustment

We must “STOP AND THINK” about where we want to go, one choice at a time. The primary element of change is decisions. What, in the present can we decide upon that can redirect the course of our lives for the positive? What can bring stability in our day? While some options can be difficult, foreign or even scary due to unfamiliarity; a sound choice can be made. I, for one understand. Here is another personal note I want to share that I use when change is needed…some 30 years ago it was brought to my attention that “if I do what I always did, I’ll get what I always got.” That statement not only stuck with me, just the thought of my circumstances becoming perpetual during that time scared me. I also heard we are presented with two options; the fear of change or the fear of remaining the same. These, among other reasons continue to influence my decisions to this day. I had to learn, and am yet learning to reverse the pain of brokenness by doing something different. This required an adjustment in reasoning.

I had to view myself from the basis of who I really am, rather than who I had become. Too, I had to recognize that I DO have choices and I no longer needed to think from a restricted position based on my rearing, or poor past decisions. Which brings me to my next point. I had to “practice paying attention” to my thoughts and where they originate from. The question for all to consider is, does our mind link us to our future or bind us to the past? Therefore, we must contemplate the way we think; it will either propel us toward our purposed life OR encumber us in place. Imperative

In short, we did not just awake to the place that we are, decisions got us there, one decision at a time. Decisions got us where we are, decisions will bring us out. Paving our destination is not a one-time event, it’s a process. Substituting of one thing for another can shift the momentum of one’s life, often in the opposite direction. Determine one choice at a time, one day at a time; this leads to an ordained life. Always keep in mind, what we decide today fosters tomorrow. It’s your choice, remember…..

Sow a thought, reap a behavior

Sow a behavior, reap a habit

Sow a habit, reap your character

Sow your character, reap your destiny

Beatrice Tate Jackson

(Note: this was originally written July 13, 2019, taken from my blog site Life Lines, lifelines110.com, Author Beatrice Jackson).